I slathered my metal outdoor bird feeder pole with a thick layer of vegetable shortening to stop the June squirrels for 5 days. Believe me, this is what happened

As a devoted birdwatcher, I’ve always cherished the tranquility and joy that a well-visited bird feeder brings to my backyard. Watching colorful finches, sparrows, and chickadees flit about is a simple pleasure that lifts my spirits daily. However, my serene pastime has been repeatedly interrupted by the antics of the local squirrel population.

June marks the height of squirrel activity in my area, and these nimble creatures have become experts at raiding my bird feeders. Despite my best efforts using various deterrents, the squirrels have outsmarted them all, leaving me desperate for a solution. That’s when I decided to try something unconventional: a thick layer of vegetable shortening.

Every summer, the squirrel invasion begins anew. These agile mammals have proven time and again that no bird feeder is truly squirrel-proof. My feeder pole, standing at a proud six feet, was no exception. Despite its height and slick metal surface, the squirrels managed to scale it with ease.

In previous years, I tried a variety of commercial squirrel baffles and deterrents, but the June squirrels always adapted quickly. It seemed that every time I deployed a new gadget, the squirrels were one step ahead. I needed a new tactic, something they wouldn't expect.

In my quest for a solution, I stumbled upon an old gardening forum where someone mentioned using grease as a deterrent. The idea intrigued me—what if I could make the pole too slippery for the squirrels to climb? Vegetable shortening seemed like the perfect candidate: it was thick, sticky, and wouldn’t harm the squirrels.

Armed with a 2-pound tub of vegetable shortening, I decided to give it a try. It was a low-cost, low-risk option that promised to be just inconvenient enough to deter the squirrels without causing them harm.

I spent a warm Saturday morning preparing my feeder for its new defense system. Using a spatula, I began applying the shortening to the pole, ensuring an even, thick layer from top to bottom. I used almost the entire tub, layering on about an inch of shortening.

The process was surprisingly quick, and within 20 minutes, the pole was covered in a glossy, slick coating of vegetable shortening. It looked almost comically greasy, but I hoped it would do the trick.

The first day of my experiment was a spectacle. Shortly after sunrise, the first squirrel arrived, eyeing the feeder with its usual determination. It leapt onto the pole, only to slide right back down, confused but unhurt.

This scene repeated itself several times throughout the day. Each squirrel that attempted the climb was met with the same slippery fate, much to my amusement. For the first time in weeks, the bird feeder was a squirrel-free zone.

By the second day, the squirrels were undeterred in their efforts to reach the feeder. Their attempts became bolder and more acrobatic, with some trying to leap from nearby branches or fences. Every attempt ended in failure, and the squirrels would slide down the pole in a rather comical fashion.

My backyard had become a stage for a viral-worthy performance, and I couldn’t help but record the antics. My friends found the videos hilarious, and they quickly gained popularity online, providing entertainment to more than just myself.

By the fourth day, the squirrels seemed to be re-evaluating their approach. While some continued their futile attempts, others began to explore alternative food sources in the yard. It was as if they had finally realized that the pole was a lost cause.

On the fifth day, I noticed a marked decrease in the number of squirrels attempting to climb the pole. It seemed my greasy strategy had finally made them reconsider their usual raiding routine.

Throughout the five days, the birds enjoyed uninterrupted access to the feeder. The usual flocks returned in full force, delighting in the abundance of seed that was previously pilfered by squirrels.

The yard itself remained largely unaffected by the shortening. The slick pole didn’t deter the birds, who easily accessed the feeder from above, and the surrounding area stayed clean, without any noticeable residue or debris.

After five days, the shortening began to lose its effectiveness as it collected dust and debris. Cleanup was straightforward but a bit tedious. I used a cloth soaked in warm, soapy water to wipe down the pole, removing the greasy residue.

Surprisingly, the shortening hadn't harmed the grass or plants around the feeder, and there were no negative effects on the local wildlife. However, I did notice a slight increase in the number of ants around the base of the pole, likely attracted by the vegetable grease.

In terms of preventing squirrel raids, the vegetable shortening was a success for those five days. The birds had exclusive access to the feeder, and the squirrels were effectively deterred without harm.

However, this method required maintenance and frequent reapplication to remain effective, which might not be feasible long-term. While it worked temporarily, I knew it wasn’t a permanent solution to my squirrel problem.

From a safety perspective, vegetable shortening is non-toxic and unlikely to harm squirrels, which was my main concern. However, wildlife experts might argue that such deterrents can interfere with natural animal behaviors and ecosystems.

It's important to consider the ethical implications of using such methods. While I only used shortening for a brief period, relying on it over the long term might not be the most wildlife-friendly approach.

Reflecting on my experiment, I found the vegetable shortening to be an amusing and temporarily effective solution. However, the maintenance involved and ethical considerations make it an impractical long-term strategy.

While it was a fun and harmless way to deter the June squirrels for a few days, I’m still on the lookout for a more sustainable solution. In the meantime, I’ll continue to enjoy the antics of my backyard visitors, both feathered and furry.